~サムねこの物語~
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Yeaaaa!
I took Option B today! Yea! Yea! Yea! (See entry on "Trauma" posted on 18 August 2006, Friday)
Got seat somemore! Yea! Yea! Yea!!
Counting down to 16 September, although the loss of a good income wud be excruciating....i must persevere on the carebear spirit! 19 more days of mental notings...19 days to freeeeedommm....Yea! Yea! Yea! Yeaaa!!!!!!!
*Chants hypnotically to self* "Money is the root of all evils.....money can't buy happiness......money is the root of all evils.....money can't buy happiness....money is the root of all evils...." ¶ J poppycocked at 9:09:00 AM
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Got seat somemore! Yea! Yea! Yea!!
Counting down to 16 September, although the loss of a good income wud be excruciating....i must persevere on the carebear spirit! 19 more days of mental notings...19 days to freeeeedommm....Yea! Yea! Yea! Yeaaa!!!!!!!
*Chants hypnotically to self* "Money is the root of all evils.....money can't buy happiness......money is the root of all evils.....money can't buy happiness....money is the root of all evils...." ¶ J poppycocked at 9:09:00 AM
¶
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Delight.
Alwaz have a thing for smart-looking men. Smart-looking as in, think office-wear, executive briefcase, shiny leather shoes, frameless specs lying on straight nose bridge, gel up hair, wif fresh nice cologne smell when u walk past him.
Men in uniform (clean ones la) are not bad too. :)
Tok about civic-mindedness, dis morning on the bus, a seat was emptied between mi n above mentioned character. He let mi have the seat, being very gentlemanly i must say. A mere mortal wud have unreservedly grabbed the seat at chance & dis man didn't even flinch.
Of course, being the grateful mi, i was thrilled. So nice of him, i thought.
When i shared the story wif my colleagues, dey speculated maybe it's coz i either look elderly or pregnant. Okay. Thanks people. -_-'
See? Dis is how uncommon a concept like courtesy has become in our society. Don't doubt it ok, there r still nice souls, like mi no less (imagine halo on my head), around. Lol.
Then i held the lift for a very grateful chap too (actly it's bcoz the lift door won't close la, but at least i didn't jab on the 'Close' button like a combo hit), & he looks like one of the above mentioned kind too. Hoho.
Heh, how wonderful would the world be, if there r more of dis kinda mornings huh. ¶ J poppycocked at 9:39:00 AM
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Men in uniform (clean ones la) are not bad too. :)
Tok about civic-mindedness, dis morning on the bus, a seat was emptied between mi n above mentioned character. He let mi have the seat, being very gentlemanly i must say. A mere mortal wud have unreservedly grabbed the seat at chance & dis man didn't even flinch.
Of course, being the grateful mi, i was thrilled. So nice of him, i thought.
When i shared the story wif my colleagues, dey speculated maybe it's coz i either look elderly or pregnant. Okay. Thanks people. -_-'
See? Dis is how uncommon a concept like courtesy has become in our society. Don't doubt it ok, there r still nice souls, like mi no less (imagine halo on my head), around. Lol.
Then i held the lift for a very grateful chap too (actly it's bcoz the lift door won't close la, but at least i didn't jab on the 'Close' button like a combo hit), & he looks like one of the above mentioned kind too. Hoho.
Heh, how wonderful would the world be, if there r more of dis kinda mornings huh. ¶ J poppycocked at 9:39:00 AM
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Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Are U Civic-Minded?
I'm sure everybody has their fair share of grumbles & complaints about encounters with rude people on the train, in the mall, at the restaurants blah the blah..and in fact, it becomes almost a regular regime for us people in the office to arrive in the morning with horror stories of how people dun bother to hold the lift, mrt seat-snatchers, unshameful nose-diggers or strange peh-pehs on the streets.
Just dis morning, just as i was approaching a seat on the MRT, an auntie in her 40s my guess is, scurried in (u noe, the-nvr-sit-will-die-kinda-auntie) & wanted the seat the same. I could have sat on it if i chose to b oblivious since i was nearer. We exchanged glances & i let her hv the seat instead, since u noe, she looked like she reli wanted the seat badly.
Well, i must say she took it pretty as a matter of factly, no she wasn't dat old nor was she limping, in fact i tink she cud take a bull by its horns if she wanted to, but strangely, she didn't even bother to at least smile in return, much less thank mi.
Foreigners aside, for dey cud perhaps b excused for being too used to do wad dey do in their own countries, but wad about locals?
Of course, being a local myself, i dun erase the possibility of being the topic of OTHER people when dey share their daily dosage of rude people dey encounter.
Just wondering, being in such a micro-managed society, wad happened to micro-managing the people's manners? Does it not have economic value? Having good courtesy level from within helps in our service industry oso wot...
Since when hv we accumulated such a bad name for our courtesy level? And since when have we evolve into conniving bitches & bastards who couldn't care less about others?
Now dat IMF is impending, we c our leaders strongly advocating GEMS & all dat kinda thing. But is it becoz IMF is coming, therefore we shud hv GEMS or shud we hv GEMS all the time so dat we can anticipate IMF anytime?
Anyway, kudos to those who are still trying to make a difference. :) ¶ J poppycocked at 9:08:00 AM
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Just dis morning, just as i was approaching a seat on the MRT, an auntie in her 40s my guess is, scurried in (u noe, the-nvr-sit-will-die-kinda-auntie) & wanted the seat the same. I could have sat on it if i chose to b oblivious since i was nearer. We exchanged glances & i let her hv the seat instead, since u noe, she looked like she reli wanted the seat badly.
Well, i must say she took it pretty as a matter of factly, no she wasn't dat old nor was she limping, in fact i tink she cud take a bull by its horns if she wanted to, but strangely, she didn't even bother to at least smile in return, much less thank mi.
Foreigners aside, for dey cud perhaps b excused for being too used to do wad dey do in their own countries, but wad about locals?
Of course, being a local myself, i dun erase the possibility of being the topic of OTHER people when dey share their daily dosage of rude people dey encounter.
Just wondering, being in such a micro-managed society, wad happened to micro-managing the people's manners? Does it not have economic value? Having good courtesy level from within helps in our service industry oso wot...
Since when hv we accumulated such a bad name for our courtesy level? And since when have we evolve into conniving bitches & bastards who couldn't care less about others?
Now dat IMF is impending, we c our leaders strongly advocating GEMS & all dat kinda thing. But is it becoz IMF is coming, therefore we shud hv GEMS or shud we hv GEMS all the time so dat we can anticipate IMF anytime?
Anyway, kudos to those who are still trying to make a difference. :) ¶ J poppycocked at 9:08:00 AM
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Monday, August 21, 2006
Resolve.
Finally i did it.
I met up wif the fearful being today again, for the 3rd & last time.
From where we last left off the conversation, i was supposed to digest the points presented to mi during the conversation & come to a decision by today's meeting.
Hidden agenda aside (of coz we all noe dat all these hassles r a bid to retain mi), i m grateful to the GM for being so patient & understanding towards my indecisiveness.
Altho there maybe some issues i don't c eye to eye wif her, but i reli praise her for her courage & generally, she's an admirable figure.
I still distinctively recall our 1st meeting 2 yrs back when i was still a freshie.
Trust mi when i say i left the intvw wif zero morale, but full of respect for her. She made mi realised how much there is to learn & how ignorant i was & perhaps still am.
Anyway, back to the point about concluding.
It bothered mi for days since our last meeting, pondering as to where exactly i m in my career, my stand in the company, in life & where exactly i want to head to eventually. Basically, i m a lost sheep manz. Even when i m shitting, i m thinking about all these.
Then it finally dawned upon mi last night dat all i want now, is a real good break. An inevitable desire consequential of 2 years of hard work, tears & sweat.
1 week, 2 months? Who knows.
As of tomoro, i shall be serving my notice in the branch & sabbatical leave it is.
Wish mi luck. ¶ J poppycocked at 9:22:00 PM
¶
I met up wif the fearful being today again, for the 3rd & last time.
From where we last left off the conversation, i was supposed to digest the points presented to mi during the conversation & come to a decision by today's meeting.
Hidden agenda aside (of coz we all noe dat all these hassles r a bid to retain mi), i m grateful to the GM for being so patient & understanding towards my indecisiveness.
Altho there maybe some issues i don't c eye to eye wif her, but i reli praise her for her courage & generally, she's an admirable figure.
I still distinctively recall our 1st meeting 2 yrs back when i was still a freshie.
Trust mi when i say i left the intvw wif zero morale, but full of respect for her. She made mi realised how much there is to learn & how ignorant i was & perhaps still am.
Anyway, back to the point about concluding.
It bothered mi for days since our last meeting, pondering as to where exactly i m in my career, my stand in the company, in life & where exactly i want to head to eventually. Basically, i m a lost sheep manz. Even when i m shitting, i m thinking about all these.
Then it finally dawned upon mi last night dat all i want now, is a real good break. An inevitable desire consequential of 2 years of hard work, tears & sweat.
1 week, 2 months? Who knows.
As of tomoro, i shall be serving my notice in the branch & sabbatical leave it is.
Wish mi luck. ¶ J poppycocked at 9:22:00 PM
¶
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Saturday Night
Remind mi again, never to eat at Lau Pa Sat. Darn, shud hv taken a foto of how...blah...my dinner was, it costed mi a good $4.50 for a sunny side-up, a piece of unfrozen fillet, few slices of japanese ginger (which i dun take) & a piece of japanese yellow pickle. O wait, there was oso a spoon of sambal, how could i almoz 4get to mention the sambal since i ordered Sambal Fish Rice....?!
...BCOZ it was so darn insignificant la...Blardy Hell!!!!! It was my 1st time ordering Sambal Fish Rice at Lau Pa Sat, and the Sambal & the Fish are...reli...the Sambal AND the Fish.
I had to smear the tasteless sambal on the dry-like-stone fillet myself. U wud hv imagined piping hot sambal gravy to be poured over soft & smooth dory fish for a value of $4.50 at hawker centres, but i swear, it just tasted like army ration food. Farrrrrk.
Not to mention i was 2nd in line when i joined the queue, i tink it took the stupid auntie more than 10min to serve mi my food. She wasn't even apologetic, & while cooking the food, her eyes were glued to the TV somemore. Lydat how can serve customers good food u tell mi..........
Of coz, we chose to dine at Lau Pa Sat for a reason la, otherwise who wud hv wanted to go back to CBD on a weekN. We had intended to go to Mind Cafe at Boat Quay & we made reservations earlier the day.
O but guess wad? As if a lousy dinner wasn't enuff to spoil the mood, when we rched Mind's, we were told by the incompetent waiter/ waitress that as the group of people before us extended their hours at the table, we had to wait. Supposedly once it's ready, dey will give us a call.
Right, if u r logical, u shud hv started frowning halfway thru my earlier sentence.
One, since u noe there's a reservation at dat time, u cud hv told the earlier batch dat it wudnt be possible to extend as somebody else had already made the reservation.
Two, dey shud hv checked the blardy logbook before agreeing blindly if dey weren't sure if there was a reservation next. The logbook was also there for a reason.
Three, if dey haaaaad to let them extend their hours (altho i can't imagine y), at the bare minimum, dey cud hv CALLED us to inform us about it, so that we need not deliberately go all the way to Raffles Place for nothing.
It's a fucking waste of ur customers' time & totally consequential of some foolish beings without common sense & poor service.
Four, tok about poor service, we then retreated to the nearby Coffee Bean while waiting for their call, which never came by the way. Dey didnt even bother to call & apologise. Which gave "Reservation" a total new definition, or else makes reservation a total wasted idea.
In all fairness, dis kinda situation nvr happened at the Selegie branch.
Objectively i dun tink i m dat difficult as a customer. Since i'm oso in the service line i understand we r all humans & bound to err. But there is a distinct difference between pure stupidity & accidental errors, as well as wad's forgivable & wad's not.
The service crew at Boat Quay's Mind Cafe shud feel damn lucky & glad dat i was wif a group of mild-tempered people last night.
I professed to prefer Mind over Settlers as i tink their atmosphere is better. Even tho Settlers seems to be more pocket-friendly, i wud still vote for Mind's mostly.
But sometimes, just one bad mistake is enough to drive loyal customers away. ¶ J poppycocked at 8:16:00 PM
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...BCOZ it was so darn insignificant la...Blardy Hell!!!!! It was my 1st time ordering Sambal Fish Rice at Lau Pa Sat, and the Sambal & the Fish are...reli...the Sambal AND the Fish.
I had to smear the tasteless sambal on the dry-like-stone fillet myself. U wud hv imagined piping hot sambal gravy to be poured over soft & smooth dory fish for a value of $4.50 at hawker centres, but i swear, it just tasted like army ration food. Farrrrrk.
Not to mention i was 2nd in line when i joined the queue, i tink it took the stupid auntie more than 10min to serve mi my food. She wasn't even apologetic, & while cooking the food, her eyes were glued to the TV somemore. Lydat how can serve customers good food u tell mi..........
Of coz, we chose to dine at Lau Pa Sat for a reason la, otherwise who wud hv wanted to go back to CBD on a weekN. We had intended to go to Mind Cafe at Boat Quay & we made reservations earlier the day.
O but guess wad? As if a lousy dinner wasn't enuff to spoil the mood, when we rched Mind's, we were told by the incompetent waiter/ waitress that as the group of people before us extended their hours at the table, we had to wait. Supposedly once it's ready, dey will give us a call.
Right, if u r logical, u shud hv started frowning halfway thru my earlier sentence.
One, since u noe there's a reservation at dat time, u cud hv told the earlier batch dat it wudnt be possible to extend as somebody else had already made the reservation.
Two, dey shud hv checked the blardy logbook before agreeing blindly if dey weren't sure if there was a reservation next. The logbook was also there for a reason.
Three, if dey haaaaad to let them extend their hours (altho i can't imagine y), at the bare minimum, dey cud hv CALLED us to inform us about it, so that we need not deliberately go all the way to Raffles Place for nothing.
It's a fucking waste of ur customers' time & totally consequential of some foolish beings without common sense & poor service.
Four, tok about poor service, we then retreated to the nearby Coffee Bean while waiting for their call, which never came by the way. Dey didnt even bother to call & apologise. Which gave "Reservation" a total new definition, or else makes reservation a total wasted idea.
In all fairness, dis kinda situation nvr happened at the Selegie branch.
Objectively i dun tink i m dat difficult as a customer. Since i'm oso in the service line i understand we r all humans & bound to err. But there is a distinct difference between pure stupidity & accidental errors, as well as wad's forgivable & wad's not.
The service crew at Boat Quay's Mind Cafe shud feel damn lucky & glad dat i was wif a group of mild-tempered people last night.
I professed to prefer Mind over Settlers as i tink their atmosphere is better. Even tho Settlers seems to be more pocket-friendly, i wud still vote for Mind's mostly.
But sometimes, just one bad mistake is enough to drive loyal customers away. ¶ J poppycocked at 8:16:00 PM
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Friday, August 18, 2006
Trauma
I can't even begin to recall, how many times in life i have been caught in a dilemma, struggling to make a decision at crossroads.
I admit i have never been quite a resolute person, albeit hoping to be more of one. It's quite a torture really, wanting me to make up my mind.
I have this habit of taking the bus to Lakeside MRT station every morning to catch the train, despite not staying dat far away from Chinese Garden MRT station. It's purely half out of laziness, half out of not wanting to perspire early morning.
And given time allowance, i will embark on the reverse direction from my destination & take the train to Boon Lay so that after everyone alights, i can get a seat to snooze thruout the journey.
Just dis morning, the train towards Pasir Ris approached while i was still on the escalator but as usual, i wasn't in a hurry (tell mi y pp actly bother to run after buses & trains like a looney...Zzz..) so i missed dat one. Then the MRT towards Boon Lay arrived shortly, but while waiting for it to stop, from afar i spotted another approaching train towards Pasir Ris, which was relatively instant, considering the lapse from the previous train.
At dis point in time, i was already trying to decide which side of the train to take; Option A) Hop onto the stopped train in front of u going towards Boon Lay & get a seat to snooze after everyone alights, Option B) Wait for approaching train going towards Pasir Ris & not board train towards Boon Lay, which will save commuting time, but might be seat-less.
The catch is, u duno if the train towards Pasir Ris will just be one of those "test-train" (reli, tel mi wad r the chances manz..) & if it's gonna just zoom past the station, not allowing passengers to board, i would have given up the trains on both sides, incurring more waiting time.
In the end i chose to board the train towards Boon Lay, just in case.
While waiting for the door to close, the opposite sides' train arrived & not only is it NOT a test train, it's also relatively empty, meaning i could have jolly well cut commuting time AND gotten a seat to snooze if i have decided to take my chances waiting for the approaching one.
Which means, my decision to board train towards Boon Lay had not only been incorrect, (since i should have chosen Option B), but was potentially worse than an Option C, which is to run after arriving train when i was still on the escalator. At least people who did, got the benefit of reaching their destination earlier (not dat i was looking forward to reaching office earlier).
I think small matters like these are really reflective of the person in real. So many a times, when I am faced with a difficult situation, I am so afraid of taking the plunge, constantly worrying about the opportunity cost & the consequences, that in the end, i got the best out of nothing.
If everyone has a detrimental trait to their personality, i guess indecisiveness would be mine. ¶ J poppycocked at 12:51:00 PM
¶
I admit i have never been quite a resolute person, albeit hoping to be more of one. It's quite a torture really, wanting me to make up my mind.
I have this habit of taking the bus to Lakeside MRT station every morning to catch the train, despite not staying dat far away from Chinese Garden MRT station. It's purely half out of laziness, half out of not wanting to perspire early morning.
And given time allowance, i will embark on the reverse direction from my destination & take the train to Boon Lay so that after everyone alights, i can get a seat to snooze thruout the journey.
Just dis morning, the train towards Pasir Ris approached while i was still on the escalator but as usual, i wasn't in a hurry (tell mi y pp actly bother to run after buses & trains like a looney...Zzz..) so i missed dat one. Then the MRT towards Boon Lay arrived shortly, but while waiting for it to stop, from afar i spotted another approaching train towards Pasir Ris, which was relatively instant, considering the lapse from the previous train.
At dis point in time, i was already trying to decide which side of the train to take; Option A) Hop onto the stopped train in front of u going towards Boon Lay & get a seat to snooze after everyone alights, Option B) Wait for approaching train going towards Pasir Ris & not board train towards Boon Lay, which will save commuting time, but might be seat-less.
The catch is, u duno if the train towards Pasir Ris will just be one of those "test-train" (reli, tel mi wad r the chances manz..) & if it's gonna just zoom past the station, not allowing passengers to board, i would have given up the trains on both sides, incurring more waiting time.
In the end i chose to board the train towards Boon Lay, just in case.
While waiting for the door to close, the opposite sides' train arrived & not only is it NOT a test train, it's also relatively empty, meaning i could have jolly well cut commuting time AND gotten a seat to snooze if i have decided to take my chances waiting for the approaching one.
Which means, my decision to board train towards Boon Lay had not only been incorrect, (since i should have chosen Option B), but was potentially worse than an Option C, which is to run after arriving train when i was still on the escalator. At least people who did, got the benefit of reaching their destination earlier (not dat i was looking forward to reaching office earlier).
I think small matters like these are really reflective of the person in real. So many a times, when I am faced with a difficult situation, I am so afraid of taking the plunge, constantly worrying about the opportunity cost & the consequences, that in the end, i got the best out of nothing.
If everyone has a detrimental trait to their personality, i guess indecisiveness would be mine. ¶ J poppycocked at 12:51:00 PM
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Sunday, August 13, 2006
Last Night at PS.
Dis sight was caught at PS yesterday. Abit scary reli.
There were books all around, even on the floor. But they were going at quite a cheap price i heard. All less than $10. ¶ J poppycocked at 5:54:00 PM
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There were books all around, even on the floor. But they were going at quite a cheap price i heard. All less than $10. ¶ J poppycocked at 5:54:00 PM
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On National Day.
Didn't do much on dat day coz he had to attend a funeral in the wee morning, then help out at the stall. Only managed to c him some late afternoon.
By the time we made our way out it was like 7-ish in the evening, plus he looked so beat. So could only grab dinner, but at least, i get to try something new.
We wento Tian Tian Huo Guo at Bugis.
Eh....could only say dat it was something new, don't think i m exactly thrilled at the food, since i'm not a very big fan of meat.
The bill chalked up to about 60++, just for the 2 of us, which i tot was kinda expensive. Haizzz...kena "tok" again, dis businessmen, very good at adding dis adding dat to the bill. When we didnt even realise, we r dishing out money from our wallet & bidding farewell to our notes oredi.
Shit, the notes would hv been better off living in my wallet. But o well. Treat it as a contribution to our economy la huh. ¶ J poppycocked at 5:37:00 PM
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By the time we made our way out it was like 7-ish in the evening, plus he looked so beat. So could only grab dinner, but at least, i get to try something new.
We wento Tian Tian Huo Guo at Bugis.
Eh....could only say dat it was something new, don't think i m exactly thrilled at the food, since i'm not a very big fan of meat.
The bill chalked up to about 60++, just for the 2 of us, which i tot was kinda expensive. Haizzz...kena "tok" again, dis businessmen, very good at adding dis adding dat to the bill. When we didnt even realise, we r dishing out money from our wallet & bidding farewell to our notes oredi.
Shit, the notes would hv been better off living in my wallet. But o well. Treat it as a contribution to our economy la huh. ¶ J poppycocked at 5:37:00 PM
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I'm glad we scooped dis outta the ma la pot before dipping our food into it. Look at it!!! Arrrgh. The middle part are all the chilli padi n an assortment of random spices. We didnt manage to remove all of it though.
Chilli Oil. ¶ J poppycocked at 5:29:00 PM
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Chilli Oil. ¶ J poppycocked at 5:29:00 PM
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He ate all the prawns he could. Like there's no tomoro. He continued to eat more prawns after dis foto. O btw, the red red thing beneath is more chilli oil we scooped off from the pot. The former plate wasn't deep enuff.
His evil doings. ¶ J poppycocked at 5:26:00 PM
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His evil doings. ¶ J poppycocked at 5:26:00 PM
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Dis is life-changing manz. Tad steep, going at $12 per jug. But wad's better than a cuppa cold, thirst-quenching, throat-soothing lemon squash after a pot of steamy ma la steamboat?? Can reli drink n drink n drink n drink.
Lemon Squash. ¶ J poppycocked at 5:23:00 PM
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Lemon Squash. ¶ J poppycocked at 5:23:00 PM
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Dinner @ Shangri-la Hotel.
Like royalty i tell u...it was of course, a company's dinner. Unless i strike la, otherwise, to fork out $60-70+++ just for a dinner is almost....too unnerving to do.
Anyway, of all the hotels we visited, i vote this one the best. The spread was great but i was more interested in their desserts. It was simply fantastic i tell u, just by looking k.
Well, i ate more than i cud take fotos of, coz i was too bz stuffing my face wif strawberries & marshmellows in chocolate fondue, chocolate ice-cream, mango sorbet, raspberry ice-cream, mocha ice-cream blah blah u get the deal.
I stopped short of dunking my head into the chocolate fondue fountain. Fortunately i stil manage to stay sane enuff to get a pic of 2. ¶ J poppycocked at 5:10:00 PM
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Anyway, of all the hotels we visited, i vote this one the best. The spread was great but i was more interested in their desserts. It was simply fantastic i tell u, just by looking k.
Well, i ate more than i cud take fotos of, coz i was too bz stuffing my face wif strawberries & marshmellows in chocolate fondue, chocolate ice-cream, mango sorbet, raspberry ice-cream, mocha ice-cream blah blah u get the deal.
I stopped short of dunking my head into the chocolate fondue fountain. Fortunately i stil manage to stay sane enuff to get a pic of 2. ¶ J poppycocked at 5:10:00 PM
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Dessert number 2. Looks nice oredi rigggght...chocolate chocolate n more chocolate!!! yeaaa!
Dessert 02 ¶ J poppycocked at 5:08:00 PM
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Dessert 02 ¶ J poppycocked at 5:08:00 PM
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Dessert from Shangri-la number 1. I dun reli noe wad it is, but it tastes chocolatey n tiramisu-like. Oooh & dat stick-like thing u c poking out of the cup is edible too, the whole stick was covered in a coat of gold. *zennnnnnnn*
Dessert 01 ¶ J poppycocked at 5:06:00 PM
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Dessert 01 ¶ J poppycocked at 5:06:00 PM
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Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Imagination
Think imagination, think creativity. Think imagination, think empowerment.
Really, it can fuel motivation, it can oso bring pessimism.
Just like any other item in your toolbox, a useful instrument can also be a weapon.
I dislike being left at home when the whole world is out there celebrating. I used to be part of the crowd, but before i know it, i became a crowd-watcher. Pros & cons, take & give.
But sometimes when u stand afar, silence becomes louder & imagination runs loose.
Worries come unduly & insecurity heightens. Inevitable stuff dat happens when u r alone.
It sets mi thinking on plenty of "what ifs". It makes me want to back-track & take back some of the life-changing decisions i've made.
This is not a very good thing, i must say.
For life should be simple. U make decisions & don't look back.
Heh. ¶ J poppycocked at 11:09:00 PM
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Really, it can fuel motivation, it can oso bring pessimism.
Just like any other item in your toolbox, a useful instrument can also be a weapon.
I dislike being left at home when the whole world is out there celebrating. I used to be part of the crowd, but before i know it, i became a crowd-watcher. Pros & cons, take & give.
But sometimes when u stand afar, silence becomes louder & imagination runs loose.
Worries come unduly & insecurity heightens. Inevitable stuff dat happens when u r alone.
It sets mi thinking on plenty of "what ifs". It makes me want to back-track & take back some of the life-changing decisions i've made.
This is not a very good thing, i must say.
For life should be simple. U make decisions & don't look back.
Heh. ¶ J poppycocked at 11:09:00 PM
¶
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Sighs.
When the rules get from dumb to dumber, it makes the existing turmoil worse. The feelings intensified, towards the downside no less, when u remember that rules are the makings of some foolish human beings.
Just 2 days ago, early this week, i was sent to the grilling room with somebody fearful. Had it not been for an unexpected visitor, it looked like she had no intentions of releasing me.
The event was in expectations, although not in anticipation. It was brought upon by a final decision to call it quits, relayed to my immediate boss some 2 Fridays ago.
After some 2.5hours of one-way communication, as usual, the fearful being left me dumbfounded with her aggressive articulation & rhetorics. I would have been more vocal under normal circumstances, but when i m binded by the need to be diplomatic, tactful & sane, it's best to shut my trap, leaving me with the only possibility of appearing like a block of wood, i'm 'fraid.
Part in awe i must admit, and I've gotto stop thinking that higher authorities are superhumans.
I have to see her again next week & tell her more of what i intend to do next, in life, and in the organization. Basically, she wans to hear of my plans. In clear, precise milestones.
Honestly, I couldn't think of any route that will make mi jump in glee, both within & externally. It has been 2 days & i m still confused. Maybe i don't have an answer afterall. Even if i was given n more weeks, most probably i would still be answer-less.
Everyday i just find myself staring at the sea from this enclosed space, thinking to myself i really belong out there.
It's a great honour someone high up is spending a crucial 2.5hours with a minute fry like me, it makes me feel valued (even if it's part of the conspiracy).
But really, what if my only goal in life for now is to take a break?
Maybe all i need/ wanto do now is to retreat from this war.
Perhaps the path will be clearer when the mind is clearer. ¶ J poppycocked at 10:09:00 AM
¶
Just 2 days ago, early this week, i was sent to the grilling room with somebody fearful. Had it not been for an unexpected visitor, it looked like she had no intentions of releasing me.
The event was in expectations, although not in anticipation. It was brought upon by a final decision to call it quits, relayed to my immediate boss some 2 Fridays ago.
After some 2.5hours of one-way communication, as usual, the fearful being left me dumbfounded with her aggressive articulation & rhetorics. I would have been more vocal under normal circumstances, but when i m binded by the need to be diplomatic, tactful & sane, it's best to shut my trap, leaving me with the only possibility of appearing like a block of wood, i'm 'fraid.
Part in awe i must admit, and I've gotto stop thinking that higher authorities are superhumans.
I have to see her again next week & tell her more of what i intend to do next, in life, and in the organization. Basically, she wans to hear of my plans. In clear, precise milestones.
Honestly, I couldn't think of any route that will make mi jump in glee, both within & externally. It has been 2 days & i m still confused. Maybe i don't have an answer afterall. Even if i was given n more weeks, most probably i would still be answer-less.
Everyday i just find myself staring at the sea from this enclosed space, thinking to myself i really belong out there.
It's a great honour someone high up is spending a crucial 2.5hours with a minute fry like me, it makes me feel valued (even if it's part of the conspiracy).
But really, what if my only goal in life for now is to take a break?
Maybe all i need/ wanto do now is to retreat from this war.
Perhaps the path will be clearer when the mind is clearer. ¶ J poppycocked at 10:09:00 AM
¶