Saturday, April 23, 2005
Dis is Wad I Call Love.
About the Random Ass-Brained Man incident; i was cheesed off wif dis fella i tell u.
It's abit complicated actly. Dis guy whom i knew quite many yrs back msned mi d other nite. At the risk of being shamelessly honest, he had tried asking mi to be his special someone on 3 separate occasions previously, of which i of coz declined after some sensible tot.
After the 3rd rejection, he began to contact less of mi. For dat, I dun blame him reli. But gradually, he got banished to my List of Acquaintences.
And apparently, i got banished to his List of I-Dun-Remember-Who-But-I-Confirmed-Noe-Her List.
Due to the lack of communication, everytime he msned mi, he will 1st act like he noes mi (of wch he reli does) cept dat he wudnt actly realise it is MI he is toking to. He is obviously msning blindly.
But he doesnt ask u directly who u r but will try to fish for personal particulars info & try to figure out who he is toking to actly. SO, i have to entertain his routine interrogation, not to mention lame way to conceal his unawareness along the way.
When exposed, he will sheepishly admit but cook up all cock & bull reasons to justify y he didnt remember who i m.
I mean, even if we dun contact much, he still shud b able to recognize the email addy in the msn window isnt it?!?! Point is, i dun tink he is making the effort. I hate it when people dun even try.
After the routine lapses again, i finally told him off. I typed "thank goodness i didnt accept u the other time.." n den proceed to gif one word answers at his subsequent replies.
Well, if anything, he sounded humiliated at the end of the conversation & made yet another lame excuse dat he has to go be preoccupied wif something else.
Good riddance, i tot. Of which, i tell u...Some men will just be...well...some men. Dat insensitive. Dat lame. Dat insignificant.
*****
To digress to a happier affair, I finally wento upgrade the hay i have to "quality hay". Altho it is still hay, at least it is smooth hay now. The cows wud be much happier.
I used up the whole afternoon sitting at Kimage 2day & finally when the process is done, i lug my tired ass back home even tho 2day is a Saturday, but not before losing my way & walking around in some circles, while trying to find the bstop which i hv a straight bus home. -_-
Obviously, I burnt another huge hole in my pocket. All bcoz of the previous huge hole i burnt, of which i now grudgingly reminisce. I told Jenny The Funky Mama (my hairstylist) i m gonna burn down the Needs Salon on Monday when i go back to work.
I m SO NOT patronizing dat hell-den anymore.
*****
Anyway, i had wanted to blog dis laz nite but silly blogger was so slow, which is NOT surprising, dat i dcided against it.
I actly spent the laz few nites reading the archives of dis guy's blog;
http://atinyblip.blogspot.com
I can't stop reading it after i chanced upon it. Probly bcoz of his candid yet philosophical opinions about life. He oso pens he & his gf (Amy)'s *ahem*...love-*coughs*..making process rather vividly.
But of all, wad i like to read best, was his relationship wif Amy. I now nowee how dey met, how dey became a couple & how their relationship is processing. *beams*
Honestly, reading the way he reiterates his love for her, i felt tugged at the hart-strings. I like the way he is so concerned about her so much dat i dun reli care if it's authentic anymore. If it's fake, at least it is some good plot.
Well, lemme quote some of his wordings.
Last Friday, I sat at a table in Wala-Wala, listening to Amy and her co-workers talk about their dating horror stories. When it came to Amy's turn, she began by way of saying: "I've dated a lot of men in my life."
For a split-second, I felt an enormous pang of sadness and hurt. To hear her say that in my presence, coupled with what I've already known about her past - and the many talks we have had as a result - was rather unbearable. For a while, I couldn't hear a word uttered in that conversation. I managed to mask it, but my spirit was intractably dampened.
There is something intrinsically sad about hearing your partner talk about a past relationship. And it's not jealously or insecurity that drives the sadness. Rather, it derives from the understanding that what your partner speaks of is something forever exclusive and unique between the both of them, to be kept in a special place in her heart.
Mi: I guess it makes sense huh...no matter how much the previous relationships let u down, the experience remains unique to oneself.
And the jealousy & hurt he felt while listening to her recapping her past, is juz...so sweet.
******
Tears began rolling down her cheeks. It had come out all wrong - I had not meant what I said in that context. My heart ached. At seeing her cry. At the enormous disappointment I felt, at that all the airy notions I had of how unique I thought our encounter came crashing down after today's revelations.
"Look at me. Listen to me," I pleaded. She calmed down. "We said we would be completely honest, right?" She nodded. "I'm sorry if I have hurt you with what I said. I'm sad only because I wanted so badly to believe that what happened to us was unique, because it was unlike anything I have ever experienced. You could say that I'm selfish, that I see you as a treasure which I don't want to share with any other men. But the reality is telling me something else. I don't doubt your love - I never have."
I pulled away from her and curled up at the far end of the bed. It was too traumatizing to even touch her. I was afraid that, in her half-conscious state, any touch of mine would remind her of her past romps. An irrational association, I'm sure, but there it was.
I punched the mattress in anger. And again. At my tradition - and conservative - upbringing. I felt confused and vulnerable. I wanted to get up and leave, to run away into the dead of night, never to see or be near her again. But I couldn't bring myself to. The thought of not being able to be close to her, to hear her breath and touch those soft lips from which they take flight from, to feel her warmth and to lose myself in those beautiful eyes of hers was simply too painful. Yet, at the same time, when I am close to her, the ghosts of her past haunt me.
Mi: O my..I like the extent of his anger when things go wrong, the way he demands clarification & assurance from her, but yet at the same time he regards her so dearly & treats her like she is too delicate for any form of harshness. I like his auto-vulnerability when it comes to her. I oso like the way he curbs her tears from flowing.
It is juz endearing.
******
"Morning, baby," Her voice came though bright and chirpy. "I'll see you at the Ah Kun's by the corner in 10 minutes."
Groggily, I murmured an acknowledgment. I didn't think I'd be seeing her today - not in the morning, at least - so it came as a pleasant surprise. I felt my spirits rise as I made my way to the cafe.
She looked beautiful in a white shirt with three-quarter sleeves and a denim skirt. Though we had only a half-hour, the breakfast was unhurried. We ate, we spoke and still managed somehow to find time to share gazes. It was here at this cafe - at this very table in fact - where we had breakfast the morning she first stayed over at the office with me.
I walked her to the station. "Thank you for making my day glorious," I said to her as we parted ways.
Mi: One call, one surprise, one breakfast. She is beautiful to him. Sometimes, Love can be dat simple huh.
******
"I told myself I'd never want to date Singaporean guys again," she began, "cos the ones I had were all the same. They were all so... " She assumed a slacker pose.
"-indifferent?" I suggested.
"Yeah. Never compelled to have an opinion. You try and start a discussion and they'd go "Mmmm... "It's annoying. And their mentalities are so typically Chinese - too uptight, humorless, close-minded. They take themselves too seriously."
Mi: Absolutely spot-on.
******
"I've come to realize there exists no excuse to not find time or attention to devote to a loved one. We can always make time."
Mi: True. Sadly, things r alwaz not the same in reality. Most of the time, the more u love one person, the more likely u will take him or her for granted. We all have to learn it the hard way.
******
I knew she was trying to please me - she's wonderful in that sense, bless her heart - but the mental picture I conjured at her suggestion looked so demeaning to her; I wasn't about to have her look like a whore at the expense of my pleasure.
I politely declined.
Mi: In case u r wondering, Amy offered to gif him a...*ahem*..BJ while he was on the wheels by climbing into the space between his seat & the wheel. He declined the BJ...He declined the BJ!!!!
A man!!! Saying 'no' to dat out of sheer love & protectiveness...Can u even imagine?!!??! Most men wud jump at the chance manz!!!!!
Ehaa! He rawks! He is DA MAN!!
Can tell mi where dey sell dis kinda pedigree?
******
Sigh. And so the saga remains.
Let us, the female species, once again, chorus about how "the good men r all either taken, fugly or gay."
Well since i m in such a Lovey Dovey mood, i shall share dis equally Lovey Dovey song wif all of u.
Forever Love
歌手:Wang Li Hong
o~~~
爱你,不是因为你的美和影
我越来越爱你,每个眼神触动我的心
因为你让我看见forever才了解自己,
未来这些日子要好好珍惜
爱我有些痛苦有些不公平
如果真的爱我不是理所当然的决定
感到你的呼吸在我耳边像微风深情
温柔的安抚,我的不安定
所以我要每年研究你的笑容wo~~多么自然
forever love, forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后,你会是所有幸福的理由
爱情,是场最美最远的旅行
沿途遇经泥泞偶尔阻碍我们的前进
感到你的体温在我怀里像阳光和煦
巧妙的熔化我的不安定
不可思议证明我爱你的理由
wooo..多么自然
forever love, forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后,你会是所有幸福的理由
你感动的眼睛,我沉默的声音,
仿佛就是最好的证明
就让我再说一次i love you ~~
直到永远
Oh forever love, forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后,你会是所有幸福的理由
Forever love,forever love,
forever love... ¶ J poppycocked at 10:18:00 PM
It's abit complicated actly. Dis guy whom i knew quite many yrs back msned mi d other nite. At the risk of being shamelessly honest, he had tried asking mi to be his special someone on 3 separate occasions previously, of which i of coz declined after some sensible tot.
After the 3rd rejection, he began to contact less of mi. For dat, I dun blame him reli. But gradually, he got banished to my List of Acquaintences.
And apparently, i got banished to his List of I-Dun-Remember-Who-But-I-Confirmed-Noe-Her List.
Due to the lack of communication, everytime he msned mi, he will 1st act like he noes mi (of wch he reli does) cept dat he wudnt actly realise it is MI he is toking to. He is obviously msning blindly.
But he doesnt ask u directly who u r but will try to fish for personal particulars info & try to figure out who he is toking to actly. SO, i have to entertain his routine interrogation, not to mention lame way to conceal his unawareness along the way.
When exposed, he will sheepishly admit but cook up all cock & bull reasons to justify y he didnt remember who i m.
I mean, even if we dun contact much, he still shud b able to recognize the email addy in the msn window isnt it?!?! Point is, i dun tink he is making the effort. I hate it when people dun even try.
After the routine lapses again, i finally told him off. I typed "thank goodness i didnt accept u the other time.." n den proceed to gif one word answers at his subsequent replies.
Well, if anything, he sounded humiliated at the end of the conversation & made yet another lame excuse dat he has to go be preoccupied wif something else.
Good riddance, i tot. Of which, i tell u...Some men will just be...well...some men. Dat insensitive. Dat lame. Dat insignificant.
*****
To digress to a happier affair, I finally wento upgrade the hay i have to "quality hay". Altho it is still hay, at least it is smooth hay now. The cows wud be much happier.
I used up the whole afternoon sitting at Kimage 2day & finally when the process is done, i lug my tired ass back home even tho 2day is a Saturday, but not before losing my way & walking around in some circles, while trying to find the bstop which i hv a straight bus home. -_-
Obviously, I burnt another huge hole in my pocket. All bcoz of the previous huge hole i burnt, of which i now grudgingly reminisce. I told Jenny The Funky Mama (my hairstylist) i m gonna burn down the Needs Salon on Monday when i go back to work.
I m SO NOT patronizing dat hell-den anymore.
*****
Anyway, i had wanted to blog dis laz nite but silly blogger was so slow, which is NOT surprising, dat i dcided against it.
I actly spent the laz few nites reading the archives of dis guy's blog;
http://atinyblip.blogspot.com
I can't stop reading it after i chanced upon it. Probly bcoz of his candid yet philosophical opinions about life. He oso pens he & his gf (Amy)'s *ahem*...love-*coughs*..making process rather vividly.
But of all, wad i like to read best, was his relationship wif Amy. I now nowee how dey met, how dey became a couple & how their relationship is processing. *beams*
Honestly, reading the way he reiterates his love for her, i felt tugged at the hart-strings. I like the way he is so concerned about her so much dat i dun reli care if it's authentic anymore. If it's fake, at least it is some good plot.
Well, lemme quote some of his wordings.
Last Friday, I sat at a table in Wala-Wala, listening to Amy and her co-workers talk about their dating horror stories. When it came to Amy's turn, she began by way of saying: "I've dated a lot of men in my life."
For a split-second, I felt an enormous pang of sadness and hurt. To hear her say that in my presence, coupled with what I've already known about her past - and the many talks we have had as a result - was rather unbearable. For a while, I couldn't hear a word uttered in that conversation. I managed to mask it, but my spirit was intractably dampened.
There is something intrinsically sad about hearing your partner talk about a past relationship. And it's not jealously or insecurity that drives the sadness. Rather, it derives from the understanding that what your partner speaks of is something forever exclusive and unique between the both of them, to be kept in a special place in her heart.
Mi: I guess it makes sense huh...no matter how much the previous relationships let u down, the experience remains unique to oneself.
And the jealousy & hurt he felt while listening to her recapping her past, is juz...so sweet.
******
Tears began rolling down her cheeks. It had come out all wrong - I had not meant what I said in that context. My heart ached. At seeing her cry. At the enormous disappointment I felt, at that all the airy notions I had of how unique I thought our encounter came crashing down after today's revelations.
"Look at me. Listen to me," I pleaded. She calmed down. "We said we would be completely honest, right?" She nodded. "I'm sorry if I have hurt you with what I said. I'm sad only because I wanted so badly to believe that what happened to us was unique, because it was unlike anything I have ever experienced. You could say that I'm selfish, that I see you as a treasure which I don't want to share with any other men. But the reality is telling me something else. I don't doubt your love - I never have."
I pulled away from her and curled up at the far end of the bed. It was too traumatizing to even touch her. I was afraid that, in her half-conscious state, any touch of mine would remind her of her past romps. An irrational association, I'm sure, but there it was.
I punched the mattress in anger. And again. At my tradition - and conservative - upbringing. I felt confused and vulnerable. I wanted to get up and leave, to run away into the dead of night, never to see or be near her again. But I couldn't bring myself to. The thought of not being able to be close to her, to hear her breath and touch those soft lips from which they take flight from, to feel her warmth and to lose myself in those beautiful eyes of hers was simply too painful. Yet, at the same time, when I am close to her, the ghosts of her past haunt me.
Mi: O my..I like the extent of his anger when things go wrong, the way he demands clarification & assurance from her, but yet at the same time he regards her so dearly & treats her like she is too delicate for any form of harshness. I like his auto-vulnerability when it comes to her. I oso like the way he curbs her tears from flowing.
It is juz endearing.
******
"Morning, baby," Her voice came though bright and chirpy. "I'll see you at the Ah Kun's by the corner in 10 minutes."
Groggily, I murmured an acknowledgment. I didn't think I'd be seeing her today - not in the morning, at least - so it came as a pleasant surprise. I felt my spirits rise as I made my way to the cafe.
She looked beautiful in a white shirt with three-quarter sleeves and a denim skirt. Though we had only a half-hour, the breakfast was unhurried. We ate, we spoke and still managed somehow to find time to share gazes. It was here at this cafe - at this very table in fact - where we had breakfast the morning she first stayed over at the office with me.
I walked her to the station. "Thank you for making my day glorious," I said to her as we parted ways.
Mi: One call, one surprise, one breakfast. She is beautiful to him. Sometimes, Love can be dat simple huh.
******
"I told myself I'd never want to date Singaporean guys again," she began, "cos the ones I had were all the same. They were all so... " She assumed a slacker pose.
"-indifferent?" I suggested.
"Yeah. Never compelled to have an opinion. You try and start a discussion and they'd go "Mmmm... "It's annoying. And their mentalities are so typically Chinese - too uptight, humorless, close-minded. They take themselves too seriously."
Mi: Absolutely spot-on.
******
"I've come to realize there exists no excuse to not find time or attention to devote to a loved one. We can always make time."
Mi: True. Sadly, things r alwaz not the same in reality. Most of the time, the more u love one person, the more likely u will take him or her for granted. We all have to learn it the hard way.
******
I knew she was trying to please me - she's wonderful in that sense, bless her heart - but the mental picture I conjured at her suggestion looked so demeaning to her; I wasn't about to have her look like a whore at the expense of my pleasure.
I politely declined.
Mi: In case u r wondering, Amy offered to gif him a...*ahem*..BJ while he was on the wheels by climbing into the space between his seat & the wheel. He declined the BJ...He declined the BJ!!!!
A man!!! Saying 'no' to dat out of sheer love & protectiveness...Can u even imagine?!!??! Most men wud jump at the chance manz!!!!!
Ehaa! He rawks! He is DA MAN!!
Can tell mi where dey sell dis kinda pedigree?
******
Sigh. And so the saga remains.
Let us, the female species, once again, chorus about how "the good men r all either taken, fugly or gay."
Well since i m in such a Lovey Dovey mood, i shall share dis equally Lovey Dovey song wif all of u.
Forever Love
歌手:Wang Li Hong
o~~~
爱你,不是因为你的美和影
我越来越爱你,每个眼神触动我的心
因为你让我看见forever才了解自己,
未来这些日子要好好珍惜
爱我有些痛苦有些不公平
如果真的爱我不是理所当然的决定
感到你的呼吸在我耳边像微风深情
温柔的安抚,我的不安定
所以我要每年研究你的笑容wo~~多么自然
forever love, forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后,你会是所有幸福的理由
爱情,是场最美最远的旅行
沿途遇经泥泞偶尔阻碍我们的前进
感到你的体温在我怀里像阳光和煦
巧妙的熔化我的不安定
不可思议证明我爱你的理由
wooo..多么自然
forever love, forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后,你会是所有幸福的理由
你感动的眼睛,我沉默的声音,
仿佛就是最好的证明
就让我再说一次i love you ~~
直到永远
Oh forever love, forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后,你会是所有幸福的理由
Forever love,forever love,
forever love... ¶ J poppycocked at 10:18:00 PM