Sunday, July 04, 2004
let bygones b bygones..
It was juz another regular logging into frenster where it informed mi i've got a new testimonial to approve n a new fren request. "Who could it b dis time..sum old fren i hope?" Indeed..it was an old, old fren. But u cudnt imagine the surprise which.
Froze while staring at dat familiar name n dat more than familiar face. Adrenaline was rushing n the weight of my head was simply 2 light 2 b good. I added him anyway, n s i browsed his pg, alota pasts dat r potentially tears-welling, throat-choking n soul-trembling starting floating bck. He was, n perhaps stil is( i dun even noe it myslf) the one man i hv ever met n fell in love, deeply 4 dat matter, wif. A spur moment of impulse, egocentricity plus a fit of anger mixed up wif tonnes of immaturity n the fragileness of a 14 yr old's soul derives an outcome dat is filled wif guilt, tears, regret..n more regret.
Words canot xplain how sorry i was n am 2 him. I've tried all means 2 get him bck but trust mi, it isnt ez..for i'm not the kinda ger who can express her love 4 a guy no matter how much he means 2 mi. When i finally realised how foolish it was to let him go, it was pretty much 2 late; he was holding sum other ger's hands on dis particular yr of my bday while offerring mi a handshake of well-wishes b4 bidding gdbye. Yep, guess my cowardice had cost mi a man who reli mattered. I'll never get over u (him) getting over mi? haha..o yes, it is on repeat mode on my headfones now. N another's Tiffany's "If Love is Blind". 2 songs i'll nvr get sick of, so sappy but SO apt for the mood in the room now.
At least in my conscious memory,i dun recall ever letting somebody down lydat b4 n i hv no intention of blundering again in current n future. Datz y i'm even more determined 2 make the following r/s work. Datz y i had hung on 2 a creep for 2.5yrs when i shd hv gotten rid of him abt midway. Datz y i'm set on the idea dat i shd alwaz try my best 2 make all the r/s work until i can gif no more. Datz y i bliv i cud devote myslf even more 2 the current r/s n will do everytg(almoz) to make it last.
Ask mi wad gd did dis emotionally arousing episode do 4 mi? O well..at least it proves dat my sympathetic nervous system is stil working fine.
p/s: Johnny Wilkinson @ bugis junction 2mr 1pm..i'll hv to b there s my gal pal's nuts abt him...any takers 4 my position?
¶ J poppycocked at 7:58:00 PM
Froze while staring at dat familiar name n dat more than familiar face. Adrenaline was rushing n the weight of my head was simply 2 light 2 b good. I added him anyway, n s i browsed his pg, alota pasts dat r potentially tears-welling, throat-choking n soul-trembling starting floating bck. He was, n perhaps stil is( i dun even noe it myslf) the one man i hv ever met n fell in love, deeply 4 dat matter, wif. A spur moment of impulse, egocentricity plus a fit of anger mixed up wif tonnes of immaturity n the fragileness of a 14 yr old's soul derives an outcome dat is filled wif guilt, tears, regret..n more regret.
Words canot xplain how sorry i was n am 2 him. I've tried all means 2 get him bck but trust mi, it isnt ez..for i'm not the kinda ger who can express her love 4 a guy no matter how much he means 2 mi. When i finally realised how foolish it was to let him go, it was pretty much 2 late; he was holding sum other ger's hands on dis particular yr of my bday while offerring mi a handshake of well-wishes b4 bidding gdbye. Yep, guess my cowardice had cost mi a man who reli mattered. I'll never get over u (him) getting over mi? haha..o yes, it is on repeat mode on my headfones now. N another's Tiffany's "If Love is Blind". 2 songs i'll nvr get sick of, so sappy but SO apt for the mood in the room now.
At least in my conscious memory,i dun recall ever letting somebody down lydat b4 n i hv no intention of blundering again in current n future. Datz y i'm even more determined 2 make the following r/s work. Datz y i had hung on 2 a creep for 2.5yrs when i shd hv gotten rid of him abt midway. Datz y i'm set on the idea dat i shd alwaz try my best 2 make all the r/s work until i can gif no more. Datz y i bliv i cud devote myslf even more 2 the current r/s n will do everytg(almoz) to make it last.
Ask mi wad gd did dis emotionally arousing episode do 4 mi? O well..at least it proves dat my sympathetic nervous system is stil working fine.
p/s: Johnny Wilkinson @ bugis junction 2mr 1pm..i'll hv to b there s my gal pal's nuts abt him...any takers 4 my position?
¶ J poppycocked at 7:58:00 PM